My clueless middle brother.

My brother calls me after Christmas. I usually call him once a week to check to see how his job search is going since he got this bright idea of quitting a job where he had benefits, vacation and a regular schedule to go substitute teach. I had gotten a Back to the Bardyard DVD. I have watched that show a few times and it is hilarious. I am talking to John when he tells me they are going to go return stuff they got for Christmas because, "Travis really wants a 1st person shooter game for his Game Cube." John tells me our mom had gotten him some DVDs. I spoke to my mom about that she denies giving Travis any DVD's at all. I am sure the DVD we gave him went back to the store. I am about to make a new rule where all gifts will be with giftcards. I am tired of being lied to with regards to Travis "loving" the movie we got him and "He could not wait" to watch it. After Christmas, my brother usually has my mom find out where we went shopping so we can start his return process. I have started to given them gift cards for themselves. This year I gave them a $25 gift card to the movies and a $15 iTunes gift card. I got a $20 Taco Cabana gift card, which was not bad. Josh loves Taco Cabana.

Of course John went to go get Travis a "First Person Shooter" game which is either marked "T" for Teen or "M" for Mature. That still drives me nuts because Travis is only 5 and should not be playing mature titles like that on a Game Cube or any platform.

So I get this phone call from my brother

He leaves a message on my machine that says something like, "I just did something and you are going to laugh. I can not leave it on here for fear of it biting me in the ass." I called him back within 10 minutes. He proceeds to tell me that he met this girl off Quest Personals named Christi. I was like, "Ok." He proceeds to tell me it is my ex.

She and I dated years ago around 1997. She was a very sweet girl but there was an issue of her being very immature. I did not see us moving forward, so we broke up. Ironically, she tells me brother she broke up with me by throwing a promise ring in my car, which is a crock of crap. I never gave her a promise ring. What is even more ironic is that evertime I bump into her only, she tells me that she would take me back in a heartbeat, that she loves me still and will always love me.

My brother tells me that he almost needed Viagra just to have sex with her after he found out who she was. The funny thing is that it did not click to her that she and I are brothers. My brother tells her that he and I were roomates but thats it. I get an IM from her later that night asking what the names of my former roomates were. My brother tells me he is done with her; yet, Christi still text messages him that she wants him. What is even more funny is that she is dating some guy as well.

Christi send me an IM a day or so later. I told her that I can not believe she had sex with my roomate. (I did not tell her Daniel is my brother. I would have thought she would already know that.) She tells me it was a one time deal and that was it. Christi started going to my parents church and was big time involved with the church. When I asked her what God would think about her having sex with my former roomate and still having a boyfriend, she tell me "I repented and was a one time deal." Of course, I know better because she texts my brother all the time telling him she wants him.

I have suggested my to my brother that he needs to keep her on a short leash. He needs not to lead her on like they are going to see each other again because she will end up stalking him. All she has is his cell phone. She does not know where he lives or his last name. Once he moves in 3 weeks, he should be in the clear of her trying to hunt him down because he will have disappeared.

The good thing to come out of this is that I found out that she moved to the other side of town and does not goto my parents church any more. I am sure she will find some other crazy person that is just as screwed up as she is and Daniel will be a distant memory. It is kinda funny because when I see my brother, we just look at each other and kinda laugh.